The Pain of Healing: Why It Gets Harder Before It Gets Better

Healing is one of the most transformative journeys you can take—but what people don’t often talk about is how much it hurts.
When I first started my healing journey, I imagined it would feel like a breath of fresh air—like walking out of a dark tunnel and into the sunlight. But the truth is, before you reach the light, you have to walk through the hardest parts of yourself. You have to face the pain you buried, the regrets you ignored, and the ways you may have let yourself and others down.

And that part? That part is brutal.

Healing Means Facing the Truth—Even When It Hurts
For most of my life, I didn’t believe I was worthy of much. I pushed through, I survived, but I never truly felt deserving of success, love, or even happiness. When I finally started working on myself, I had my "awakening"—and it was like a tidal wave of realizations hitting me all at once.

I saw the ways I had let my kids down in how I raised them. I saw the ways I had let my husband down in how we communicated. But most of all, I saw how deeply I had let myself down.

That realization alone broke me. I had spent years believing I was doing the best I could, but healing forced me to see where I had fallen short. And the hardest part? I couldn't go back and undo it.

Why Healing Feels Worse Before It Feels Better
No one warns you about this part. No one tells you that healing can be just as painful—if not more—than staying broken.
When you start healing, you are ripping off a bandage that has been covering old wounds for years, maybe even decades. You’re forced to sit with the pain you’ve suppressed, to acknowledge the hurt you’ve caused others, and to accept that some of your past choices weren’t aligned with the person you are becoming. It’s exhausting. It’s heartbreaking. It makes you want to quit.

But here’s what I’ve learned: Pain is a sign that healing is happening.

You Must Be Strong Through the Process
If you are on the path to healing, I want you to understand this—you will want to turn back. You will want to stop, because facing your past, your pain, and your patterns is one of the hardest things you’ll ever do.

But you have to keep going.

Because on the other side of that pain is freedom. On the other side is peace. On the other side is the version of yourself that is no longer held down by shame, regret, or unworthiness.

Healing isn’t about erasing your past—it’s about learning to live with it, to forgive yourself, and to move forward in a way that honors the person you are becoming.

When You Heal, Your Entire Life Changes
The pain of healing is temporary, but the reward is forever. I can say with full confidence that my life is better because I did the hard work. I communicate differently. I love myself in ways I never imagined possible. I have forgiven myself for what I didn’t know back then, and I have built a life where I know I am worthy.

That doesn’t mean I don’t have moments of doubt or sadness. It doesn’t mean I don’t look back and wish I had done some things differently. But it does mean I no longer live in those moments. I no longer let them define me.
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And you won’t either.

If you’re in the middle of your healing and it hurts--keep going. If you’re just starting and you’re terrified--keep going. The pain you feel now is only temporary. But the peace you’ll find? That will stay with you for a lifetime.
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You are worth it. Keep going.

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